Posts Tagged ‘banking’

You’re kidding me. This is the best you could do? No explanation of services, of offers, of reasons to bank with you – your only argument is that the people who answer your phones are of the “I’m mad me” variety.

Fucking hell. Sack your advertisers. I don’t want a fucking conversation with some gossipy prick on the end of my phone line, I want them to do their fucking job. If all your staff are “like that round here” then you can be absolutely sure that I’ll never ever bank with you.

This is possibly the lamest advert I’ve ever written about. I’m seen worse, for sure, and far more offensive, and more incorrect, but none quite as lame as this. They didn’t think about it, and they didn’t even try…


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I’ll come back to Little Britain and this horrible character whoring out at a later date but for now I just wanted to point out that what their characters are doing is fraud, and the customer assistant is helping them out with their deception.

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Apparently benefit fraud costs the British economy around £3bn a year, so something clearly needs to be done.

It’s also worth noting, mind, that Barclays Bank avoids paying between £900m and £1bn in tax each year through government sanction loopholes. I’d also like to add that to date there have been no prosecutions of MP’s over the expenses scandal where they defrauded the tax payers of the country and used public money to make profits on their houses, buy themselves expensive white goods and employ their spouses. Some of them “paid back the money they stole” but not one “lost their possessions as a result.”

I’m just saying…

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It’s very interesting that this advert uses sleight of hand because the product is as much of an illusion as the manner in which it is advertised. You think it’s about something, when it’s about nothing. You think it does something, when it does nothing. You think it sounds useful, when it’s actually useless.

Watch the commercial again. Listen to the voiceover. After every sentence consider what it does that your bank account doesn’t already do and you’ll see what I mean.

Transfer spending money from your bank account onto your new cash manager card. Just like having wages paid into your bank account.

Spend it on the things you like the most. Just like having a debit card.

Get realtime balance alerts. Just like ATM, internet or phone banking.

Never spend more that what’s on your card. Just like having a bank account.

The new cash manager card from O2. It’s just like a normal debit card.

If you want to keep on top of your spending, it’s now in your hands. Just like a bank account.

Effectively, all this is is another way for evil banking giants Natwest and Visa to get you to be a customer without having to sign up to one of their bank accounts.


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Helpful Banking on Saturday

Let’s be sure of one thing; if a bank were a person it would not be a very nice person. It would be callous, greedy, unethical, manipulative, bullying psychopathic. You are rarely viewed as a human being, rarely treated fairly and anyone in the lower-income spectrum of society especially will tell you that dealing with them is a deeply unpleasant experience.

If the recent economic meltdown has taught us anything, it’s that big banking can’t be trusted. Natwest may not have been one of the main culprits, but their method of business and their economic outlook is one of the chief contributing factors in the monumental rise in debt and growing rich-poor divide across the world.

I find this advert chilling. It presents a bank – and by extension an industry – that is unethical, aggressive and hugely powerful as not only a fundamental part of economic life, but as a friend and adviser in all other aspects too.

I have a feeling that the staff and customers featured are real, but each person and scenario will have been thoroughly researched, planned and staged. This is not a documentary of a day in a life – this is a controlled representation of how things should be. The situation is ideal, the cast a balanced face of normality (notice the complete lack of anyone who isn’t explicitly white), the situations a contrived example of ‘everyday’.

Remember; this isn’t real. Who tells the bankess you’re planning for a baby, who drags their child out of a party to go to Natwest, who takes along their extended family to witness their eldest opening an account – who discusses their life with a business that seeks to exploit them at every turn?

Good, well behaved, free-market members of society – that’s who. People who will explicitly trust in their companies, no matter what past behaviour or current events tell them. People who believe adverts.

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